LUNA
“Does anyone else feel ridiculous right now?”
Connor’s frown line is so deep that my thumb itches to smooth it out.
“Seriously, dude! We are not going to go over this again,” Jax says, rolling his eyes.
“Jax is right. I know you guys are perfectly capable of taking care of me,” I say softly. “But it isn’t your job anymore. Blueday is insisting on some official security for me at all times. I’m not going to complain. To be honest, I’m relieved that we have the extra assistance and can relax and enjoy our day.”
“We’re going to your brother’s house,” Connor scowls, “not for a stroll around New York City.”
“Crazies can be anywhere,” Mo says, nodding in his calm way that always seems to relieve the stress in the group. I swear he’s like a horse whisperer but for men. “Let’s just relax and have a good time.”
When he catches my eye, I wink, feeling relieved to have his support and even more grateful for the amount of cooking he did this morning. I might be the woman in our unusual relationship, but my culinary skills are lacking. I blame my mom for never cooking anything more exciting than ramen and toast. Mo, on the other hand, has taught himself all the recipes that he misses most from home. He’s made Kubbi, which are deep-fried balls of potato and spicy mince, and a whole tray of baklava, which has become Greg’s favorite dessert.
Mo and Greg are an unlikely pair but have formed a firm friendship. The last time we were all together, I teased them that they were in a bromance, but they didn’t care one bit. It’s all booming laughter and firm back slapping every time we’re together.
Hudson’s arm is around my shoulder, and he plays with my hair as the car makes the turning into Tyler’s road. Their house is so pretty, and nothing like you’d expect for six mechanics. Sandy’s been living there for a few months, and she’s made some small changes, but it was pretty nice even before her feminine touch.
Ben goes to drop the window, but it’s been locked by the security team. I hate the way everything around us feels confined, but while I’m pregnant, I have to be content to accept the additional restrictions for safety.
At the curb, two bodyguards jump out, looking around as though they’re expecting sniper fire at any second. One heads to the door, knocking and checking that everything inside is secure. Only when we get the nod is the door opened, and my men begin to pile out. Hudson and Asher stay to help me. It’s tough getting in and out of the car now my belly is so big.
Tyler and Sandy are at the door, waiting for us, and it’s so nice to see my big brother relaxed. The arm he has tossed casually across Sandy’s shoulder and her beaming smile tell me that they’re happy. Her hand is resting on her equally swollen belly, and at that moment, the precious baby growing inside me starts to move.
It’s probably stupid of me to imagine that she can feel that we’re getting close to family, but I don’t care. I feel the same magnetic pull to my brother, despite all the resentment I’d allowed to build between us.
All that is forgotten now. Life’s too short to hold onto bitterness and anger.
“Did he bring the baklava?” Greg shouts as he ducks his head around the door, eyes searching for Mo.
“I bought it. Don’t worry,” Mo laughs.
“Damn. Maybe you guys need to shack up together,” Tyler laughs. “Start a new harem centered around middle eastern desserts.”
“I even bought the Ben and Jerry’s,” Mo says.
Greg makes the kind of noise that should only really be heard during sex, and Sandy doubles over with laughter.
There are hugs and kisses and handshakes of welcome, and after we’re ushered inside, and all provided with a drink, we drift into the yard where the triplets are grilling.
The air is scented with the delicious aroma of marinated meat, and I settle into a padded chair next to Sandy.
“Please tell me I’m not the only one who can’t get comfortable,” I say. “I swear the baby is deliberately pressing up against my ribs on this side.” Patting my right side, the baby wriggles in response.
“It’s not just you. I have an arrangement of pillows that I stuff between my legs and behind my back, and under my belly every night, but I still can’t sleep more than a couple of hours before I need to move. I think I’m driving the boys crazy.”
“Probably good that they get used to broken sleep,” I chuckle, imagining the thirteen men around us struggling to cope with the night feeds in a couple of months’ time.
“Definitely,” Sandy says. “And check out my feet.” She holds her sandaled feet in the air, but even with their pretty pink varnished toes, I can see how swollen they are. “These are the only shoes I can fit into right now. I try to rest with my feet up, but nothing is helping.”
“Just another delightful part of pregnancy,” I say. “My feet are fine, but my hips are creaking like I’m seventy.”
“If men had to have babies, the human race would have died out before the bronze age.”
“Definitely,” Asher says, perching next to us. He has his sketchbook out already and is ready to start drawing.
“What are you going to draw today?” Sandy asks.
“You guys,” he says. “It’ll be nice to have a picture of you both that the kids can see in the future.”
“Most people would take a photograph,” Elijah says, pulling out his phone.
“Most people don’t have Asher’s talent,” I say, grinning for the photo anyway.
“This will probably be the last time we all get together before the babies come,” I say, smoothing the green fabric of my dress over my swollen belly. The baby kicks against my hand, and I get the same inflated balloon feeling in my chest that I always get when I feel her move.
“Probably. Are you all prepared?”
“I have all the things I could possibly need. I hired a baby consultant to take me shopping. But I still don’t really feel mentally ready.”
“You’re going to be fine,” Sandy says. “The first few months are a crazy blur, but everyone gets there in the end.”
I think about my own family and how my mom has never really gotten there. I don’t want to be like her, but a tiny part of me worries that I might be. Does anyone become a parent knowing they’re going to be a failure? Isn’t everyone hopeful that they’re going to be the mom who bakes cookies and makes awesome Halloween costumes? Could I even be that mom if I wanted to? How much baking can I do on tour? How many costumes can I make between talk show interviews and performances? I feel breathless just thinking about it, and when Sandy’s hand finds mine and squeezes, tears spring to my eyes.
“You are going to love this baby,” she says softly. “And that is what it’s going to need. The stuff doesn’t matter. Your lifestyle won’t matter. Just concentrate on the love.”
“That’s what I told her,” Asher says. “She has us. It isn’t all on her. We’re all going to be around.”
“Until you want to go back to work,” I say. It’s been a constant point of discussion between us since I found out I was pregnant. My men have insisted they have the money to take time off while I’m pregnant and the baby is little. After that, I have the money to keep us all, but I don’t think they’ll enjoy life as househusbands. They’re going to miss the excitement and danger of their jobs as bodyguards. It’s what they’re trained to do. I’m still trying to imagine seven of them taking one child to baby and toddler groups, and I just can’t.
There’s a lot I can’t imagine.
Maybe it’s a good thing. Maybe I just need to accept that my life can’t be planned out right now. Keeping everything fluid in my mind might be the solution.
“Are you planning to go back to work?” I ask Sandy.
“Not for at least the first year,” she says. “After that, I’m thinking about something part-time, or maybe even starting an after-school teaching business. There are so many kids who can benefit from extra tuition.”
“That’s a great idea,” I say.
“And I heard that they’ve set some domestic tour dates for you next year.”
I nod, taking a sip of cool iced tea, trying to picture myself in the skimpy outfits I used to wear, dancing and singing at a huge stadium. The girl who used to do that feels like a different person. “The record company is already talking about fitness trainers to get me back into shape.”
“You’re the perfect shape,” Elijah says.
“Honestly, they’re really out of order for putting that on you now,” Sandy says.
“Just enjoy being pregnant and forget about their crazy body standards.”
“It’s the era of body positivity,” Asher says. “Your fans will love you more if you’re open about the way your body has changed through motherhood. Pretending you’ve just snapped back is so last year.”
“That’s true too,” Sandy says. “Every other TikTok I see is women revealing their stretch marks and loose skin, or men talking about how those things just make their wives sexier.”
“I don’t think it’s possible for Luna to get sexier,” Jax says, gazing over Asher’s shoulder at the drawing. He nods appreciatively, making me even more eager to see what my artist has come up with today.
“Food’s ready,” Damien calls, lumbering towards the table with a huge platter of steaming hot meat. My stomach rumbles.
“Can someone help me up?” I say, holding out my hand. Jax is there in a flash, easing me to my feet and pressing a soft kiss to my forehead.
Tyler assists Sandy and we all head to the table to feast at the last gathering before our families get bigger. I can’t wait to hold my baby in my arms, and I can’t wait to hold Tyler’s child too. Family is so important. Ours might not be the traditional unit, but that doesn’t make it any lesser. In fact, with thirteen men to support us, I’d say mine and Sandy’s kids will be some of the luckiest in the world.
I weave between all the huge men, finding a seat directly next to my brother.
As I lower myself down, he finds my hand and squeezes. “This is good, isn’t it?”
“It’s great,” I say softly. Neither of us needs to say what we’re thinking: how far we’ve come from that dusty field, we used to play in when we were kids. How distant that unstable time is in both our lives.
And later, when we’ve eaten enough to sink a small ship, Tyler stands. “I want to make a toast to love,” he says. “To Sandy and Luna, who have made us the happiest men and are going to bring us even more joy in a couple of months. And to Jake and Hartley, who are both here is spirit.”
“Cheers,” everyone says, raising their glasses. Hudson is especially moved by the mention of his brother.
I can’t say that I understand life at all. The twists and turns are unfathomable. I used to get wrapped up in the past, but since finding my Steel 7, I find my feet are firmly in the present.
Maybe that’s what love does. It anchors us to a place where we can appreciate everything that life has to give and forgive the things that hurt us before.
The baby kicks again as though she agrees with my thoughts.
You’re already so loved, I think.
I hope she can hear me.
I hope she will always know that she was made because of love.
(c) Stephanie Brother 2022
